I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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