so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
