Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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