She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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