That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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