see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
