she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
