Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize