Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
