I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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