You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
