if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This is my gift to your gina
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize