You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
