She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
