why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
