On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
