***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
