I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
