Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
