I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
