Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
