I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
