So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
