So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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