She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
