gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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