Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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