I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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