I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
