best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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