It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
