I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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