All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
