is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
