Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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