why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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