Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
