hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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