If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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