Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
