arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I love you.
Bad choice
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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