Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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