Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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