One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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