M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize