I haven't been this sober since birth.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
