i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
