I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
