I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
