I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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