I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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