The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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