To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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