i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
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