so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
