Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
