Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
