I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
