dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
