I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize