did you get engaged???
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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