Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
