i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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