I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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