He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
