i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
