And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize